Writing with the Dead

(c) TheBrassGlass

(c) TheBrassGlass

I found inspiration while sitting with the dead.  Their buried bodies beckoned me to join them and write.  The dead don’t impede while one is trying to concentrate.  They lie idly by, allowing masterpieces to blossom.  No comments, no critiques, no interrupting questions.  The dead provide a quiet, nurturing atmosphere.

Today is warm and sunny as I aimlessly drive through Bucks County–going nowhere and anywhere.  The act of writing, at this point, has left me.  It’s as though the spark that makes up my inner most self–my soul–has abandoned me on this blue-green, wayward planet.  The words no longer come, and I am anxious and agitated.  My life’s purpose has disappeared, leaving me empty and lost.

A small cemetery comes into view while traveling down a desolate, pothole riddled road with no dividing yellow line.  Something inside of my mind whispers to stop.  Instinctively my body takes control and steers the car off into the megar gravel parking lot.   Without a thought as to what was occurring, I exit the car and walk to the grass covered plots.

The landscape is speckled with headstones, which are old and hand hewn.  Green lichens and mold cling to the cool white stone.  Some markers stand as clean slates, the body’s identity wiped away by the hands of the weather and time.  This cemetery is ancient.  The dead have been here for many centuries.

It is well cared for, this small cemetery.  The grass is low and the surrounding trees are maintained.  It is picturesque.  Somebody truly loves it, devoting their time to care for the hallowed ground that houses these long dead people.

Sun filters through the trees creating little pockets of light among the shadowed darkness.  All is quiet and serene.  The only sound of life comes from the birds in the trees and from my own breathing.  Here in this land of the dead, a solace for the boundary of time, I find peace.  A peace that is limited by mortality.  A peace of knowing there is only one chance to achieve dreams.

And then they come to me, pounding into my head.  Reverberations and echos drown out the natural sounds of the cemetery.  Words.  They fill my brain and suddenly I find them spewing from my mouth.  I speak out loud stories–stories of my own creation–and they fall upon dead ears.  Quick!  A pen, some paper!  I hastily run to a sunny spot shining amongst the graves, fall to the ground, and pull my pen and moleskine from my purse.  In handwriting, illegible to anyone ‘s eyes but my own, I fill up a page.  Then another.  And another.  So on and so, the lined white pages of the notebook fill with loops and curls, all the while I sit in a fevered trance surrounded by the dead.

They watch me, quietly and uninterrupting.  This living being sitting atop their graves spilling words from her brain onto paper.  She has found herself while sitting among them.  But what will come of it?  The answer is unknown, but the dam has broken.  A flood is unleashed and the world once again seems brighter, happier.  There is a future.

The dead speak of these things to the living.  This life is unique and should be cherished.  It is the only time that this instance will be lived.  One must find inspiration and take hold of it with both hands.  Feel its invigorating life force, for once a life is over, the creativity for that person ceases.

I had to travel to the dead to find my reason to live.

Are you Alive or Dead?

(c) Jie Qi (CC BY 2.0)

(c) Jie Qi (CC BY 2.0)

I once heard that when you die, you relive every second of your life all over again. This is more than just your life flashing before your eye.  Your whole “existence” relived as though you are living it for the first time.  So that begs the question, your existence right at this moment: are you living it for the first time or reliving your whole life before die (which will happen within the next few seconds)?

Why do I feel like this is like a “Schrödinger’s cat” kind of question…

If this were true, while reliving your life would you consciously know you that are experiencing it again?  If you are consciously aware, then you can most likely have the power to change things.  And if you can change things, could you live your life the way you wanted it?  Think about it… you could redo your awful high-school experience, not date that jack-ass in college, choose the career path that you really wanted, subtly hint to a dear friend they “may” have cancer and will die from it.  If you are consciously aware of this ‘reliving’ experience you can make the life you wanted.  Being consciously aware, you would already know everything and the actual outcome of the original path.

But you know… this “second chance” is not reality.  You could try to be that evil persona that lives deep inside of you.  That hidden persona that everyone has, but refuses to acknowledge.  You can act out the hurt on all the people that you have wanted to hurt.  Be the assassin, thief, marauder, sadist, monster of your dark thoughts.  Morals, ethics, everything-out the window because there is no impact on anyone in reality.  Your life is only all about you, isn’t it?  Does it really matter what happens to other people, as long as you are satisfied?  You become a serial killer.  If you got caught, so what!  You may be thrown in jail, you may get the death penalty-but that’s ok!  Hey, you are about to die within the next few seconds in reality anyways.  This whole “reliving your life again” is just playing out in your head.  And in your head there are no consequences.



Well, you did just live the last moments of your actual life in your head replaying your life cast as Jack the Ripper.  Is that really how you want your life to end?  To be an eviscerating serial killer instead of someone who actually did a lot of good in their real life.  Someone who didn’t intentionally murder anyone.

You got caught up in your last moments of who you wanted to be instead of reliving who you actually were.

So what are you:  Alive or Dead?



Will you, won’t you join the dance?

Envisioning your true desires in life is the easiest way to achieve them.  Think about what your really want.  I mean really, truly want.  Think about it every morning, afternoon, and evening.  I have begun the habit of thinking about my desires right before I eat – even before snack time.  Place your desire in a positive light when you envision it.  I am a firm believer if you put enough thought into something, it will come to fruition.  Though, a little physical work helps to bring about the desire even faster.  It really does help to take some steps in order to bring the desire into reality.  Things are not going to magically appear out of mid-air.  How boring would it be if life were like that?  With a snap of our finger we could have what we want.  Each person would have millions and millions of dollars and cherry red Ferraris.  Yeah, it would be fabulous to have all that, but then we would all be the same.  No one would be unique as we would all have the same things.  And in that, we would not appreciate our desires if they were just handed to us.  So, the Universe dictates that we are to do use little elbow grease to make our dreams into reality.   The hard effort that we put in to make our desires real, make us treasure the reality of our desires.

Exciting, isn’t it.  You can have whatever you want just by thinking about it and a little hard work.  Our mind is a very powerful tool.  It creates kings, sends people to the moon, builds empires, and inspires technology.  Amazing what a little “thinking” can do, right?  We should all follow the advice of the White Queen, “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”  1

Now, keep in mind the tone in which you are manifesting your desire.  You have to make it positive and be very meticulous on how you think in order for the desire to be born in the way you want to.  Your mind and the Universe cannot distinguish between positive and negative.  So if you have this horrible fear that you will be trampled by pink elephants, do not say to yourself “Do not think about Pink Elephants”.  When you say that, all that is heard is pink elephants!  Merely do not even conjure the though in your mind.  You can not only manifest your desires, but also your fear.  If you do not give any thoughts to your fears, your fears will not be born.

Give yourself a timeline with your manifestation.  Depending on the amount of elbow grease that could be involved in assisting the manifestation, the reality may not be immediate.  Say you are building your dream house.  Everyone knows all the run-around and issues that can be sometimes involved with construction companies.  If you want to avoid all this hullaballoo, and then say to yourself “My dream house will be finished from 90 days from today”.  Then each day after in which you envision your desire, adjust down the days.  With you personally tracking the progress of the construction, keeping in constant contact with the builders, and working hard on your daily manifestation, your dream home will be finished within three months from the day that you began your first thought of desire.  Now, keep in mind that you may not be living in your dream home at that time because your manifestation was just that the house will be finished within 90 days.  If you have an extremely specific desire, then you need to make your vision of that desire specific, “Within 90 days, my dream home will be finished, furnished, and move-in ready.  Within 100 days, my new job will begin, which is only 20 minutes down the road from my dream home.  Within 80 days, the house in which I currently live in, which is also up for sale, will sell for $900,552.00”.  See, be very specific and everything will fall in line with how you want it to be.  Remember, your mind and the Universe can only produce what it is asked directly.  Do not leave any loop-holes or open-ended desires.

It is time that humanity becomes more determined to seek out producing their desires.  Too many of us sit around depressed, seeing the good fortune of others.  We all want to share in that good fortune, but so many of us have become too lazy and unwilling to do anything about it.  And we all can make our lives into the dream life in which we want to live!  Yes, it is going to take some time.  Rome was not built in a day!  Yes, it will take some hard work.  Your desire has to always be on the forefront of your mind, and you will have to get your hands dirty.  Keep your manifestation positive.  When your thoughts turn negative, fear arises and the outcome of the manifestation will be that of negativity.

Always remember, when you manifest your desires, never create physical, emotional, or mental harm to anyone or anything. 

Is it not time for you to join the dance?

1  Lewis Carroll. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. London: Oxford University Press, 1971.

Title:  From the Mock Turtle’s Song by Lewis Carroll.

©2011, Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivative – visit  Amanda Headlee — It is Always Darkest Before the Dawn for the original source of this content.


The end is only the beginning.  For when one is at the end, the atmosphere becomes clear and the understanding of what needs to be done in order to move on is acknowledged.  Endings are never bad; Endings are an evolvement.  One should never look upon the end negativity, but rather a push to move on to the next level in level of life.  With this climb into the next level we gather enlightenment and definition, even if the next level looks like a step back.  In reality, no backwards steps exist.  What looks like a step back is only a needed learning experience to help propel a soul out of the current “slump” and onto the next enlightenment.  With each level that ends, we grow – despite the outcome. 

As a writer, this is sometimes a struggle:  to acknowledge an end.  Each draft of a story that I script is a better evolution from the previous, yet I feel horribly disheartened when the editing finally ends.  I feel that even though I brought it to life on paper, ending the story has killed the process of the writing experience.  I struggle with not allowing the story to die and move on where it could possibly flourish and be published.  For at the end of each story, I return to rewrite, and “retweek” the story to the point where it is never finished, and always changing.  Thus, the evolution becomes stagnant and I stop my writing career from moving on to the next step.  In order to push my career on to the next level, I need to allow these stories to end.

And in this push for closure, only positive things will come (in which for me, I wish for publication). 

The end is only the beginning…

©2011, Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivative – visit  Amanda Headlee — It is Always Darkest Before the Dawn for the original source of this content.

Dissolution of the illusion

I tire of the jealous, selfish anger that seeps through the world today.  Positivity seems to have vanished without a trace.  When it does appear in a person, some other soul decides to come along and take it upon themselves to quash it.   The initiator of the positivity slinks away, feeling void, as if nothing that they ever accomplish will ever be good enough for anyone.  Their once positive outlook is now shoved away in some deep dark hole, where it will remain inanimate and dead.

Why do we do this to each other?  Why do we destroy this happiness and creativity in others?  Is it jealousy?  Anger?  Hate?  I tend to lean towards the jealousy aspect.  And it is more sinister than being jealous of another person’s creation, but it is jealousy of another person’s positivity.  Positivity is a very difficult thing to generate and maintain.  A person has to be wholly into the creation of positivity to make is real.  If at one step along the creation of positivity there is a negative thought or aspect, the creation will come to a crashing halt.  The positivity will only be a fleeting memory.  Humans today nonchalantly allow that negative aspect to creep in and immediately take over.  Positivity will instantly turn negative if allowed.  So much work has to be applied to pull the positivity from the negative. 

Here is where the jealousy comes into play.  Humans have become too lazy to turn that negativity.  They just let it be, and allow their creation to die a dismal death.  As they see others rejoicing in their positivity, jealousy grows from the fact that those who are full of negativity are not motivated enough to fight for their own positivity.  They then set out to destroy the positivity of others.  It is the age-old thought of “If I cannot have it, then no one can have it”.  In this act, the negativity is allowed free rein to consume.

In order to allow a creation of positivity to live, one must never lose focus and keep a strong bond with the creation.  Never allow anyone or anything to deter you from the goal.  Fight negativity when she rears her ugly head.  Your creation is yours and in order to be whole and happy, it must be seen through until the end.   When a person becomes at one with their positivity, no effort is involved to repel the negativity.  Fighting, pain, or sorrow will no longer exist.  The world will become a brighter, more serene habitat in which to thrive.  If we would all take this to heart, the negativity that is the dark cloud above our heads will dissolve and the sun will continually shine upon us. 

Keep Your Thoughts Positive

Thoughts Become Your Words

Keep Your Words Positive

Words Become Your Behaviors

Keep Your Behaviors Positive

Behaviors Become Your Habits

Keep Your Habits Positive

Habits Become Your Values

Keep Your Values Positive

Values Become Your Destiny

– Gandhi

©2011, Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivative – visit  Amanda Headlee — It is Always Darkest Before the Dawn for the original source of this content.